Discipline

It hasn't been until very recently that Violet has needed consequences for misbehavior. Not that she doesn't misbehave, but for the most part if you tell her not to do something once she does not do it again. She is usually pretty compliant and when given two choices will choose one or Mommy & Daddy will choose it for her if she can't. For instance, it's time to go to bed. She says, "I don't want to." Then the choice is given, "you can either walk up the stairs or Daddy is going to carry you." It is never a threat or said in an angry tone---it is what it is.
This past weekend, when Noah was here we had an accidental bumping incident. Violet bumped Noah while walking towards me and he fell over (still learning his balance). He was not hurt, no tears or anything, but I told Violet she needed to say she was sorry. I picked up Noah gave him hug and asked him if was okay and Violet just looked at me. I said to her, " I know it was an accident, but if you bump into someone and they fall down you need to say you are sorry." Again--blank stare. About this time Daddy walked in and I asked him back me up and tell her to apologize. She again refused. Daddy decided she needed to sit until she could say she was sorry. Violet sat in the corner, not tears or protest. Time passed and she still refused. We gave her two options she could whisper it in his ear or Mommy would hold her hand when she said it. Nope, she was not choosing either of those. It was Noah's bed time sooooo---NOW WHAT? We had to get her ready for bed too. We told her she could get up, but it was time to go to bed and she needed to tell Noah she was sorry tomorrow. She asked for ice-cream and I said no ice cream until you say you are sorry. Off to bed we go--no problems.
Of course, Mike and I are feeling really stupid as this was the very first Time-Out we had ever done and failed miserably! First of all she did not care that she had to sit and second she got out of the time-out without doing what we asked which was to apologize.
The next morning, it is just Noah, Vi, and I in the living room. I said, "you could say you are sorry now." She leaned over to Noah and whispered sorry in his ear ever so quietly. I thanked and told her that was very nice of her. She then says, "Can I have ice cream now?" AHHHHH!!!! Now I feel like I have motivated her to say sorry in order to get something!
I call my Mom and tell her the story and all she can do is laugh hysterically and of course at this point is slightly funny to me also. What else can you do-get mad??? By the way, I never gave her the ice cream:)
Luckily, Daycare Lori, validated that what we had done was okay and we in fact were not the worst discipliners. She made several good points 1)Vi learned a lesson about acceptable social behavior 2)Vi does not understand empathy yet so our goal was to get her to do what we asked and she did 3) Not all situations are resolved in that moment unlike a half hour sitcom that ends positively in those 30 minutes--sometimes it takes days 4) She may say sorry because she wants ice cream, but eventually she will understand it is the right thing to do.
A couple of days later, Mike accidently bumped Violet and guess what she said??????? "Daddy you have to say you are sorry." Success.
And the ripple effects just keep coming. Yesterday, Violet dumped her juice after I had told her not to put her spoon in it and to just drink it. She starts helping me clean it up with some assistance from Bacchus too. She walks away from me and says," I want to go sit." I did everything I could not to smile and said, "okay." And off she went to the corner!!!!

I am sure this is just the start of our parenting blunders.....